First and foremost, life for a pigeon is nearly perfect. All your food is located behind every restaurant building in the large food bins. It's quite amazing that humans just throw their food away. They buy these large, elaborate, tasteful plates of food, only to eat a small fraction of it and nonchalantly throw the rest away. Whatever, though, more feasting for us birds!
In the summer time, the best place to stay cool out of the ridiculously hot Sun is downtown, in the shade of the skyscrapers within the city. But when you want to go for a swim, the best and most logical place to go is the lake. There's tons of people there, sure, but you can find a place to swim. ..and if you really wanted to, you can play a game of white-the-humans!
White-the-humans is a game of flying over them and pooping on individuals, which, of course, is a game best played with multiple friends. I enjoy playing this exhilarating game with my friends Benjamin, Charles, Elliot, Atticus, and Sappho. When we play, we keep score by the amount of times we've hit someone with poop, and then at the end of the day, whoever has the highest score gets to call first dibs on dinner. Usually Charles has the highest score, but I've won a few times. When I win, I give my first dibs to Sappho. Oh, Sappho.
Sappho is the most beautiful creature you will ever come across. Such a kind soul, has she. She refuses to play our games of whiting, rather she watches and cheers us on. Sappho feels it rude to discrete a liquid from our body onto the poor humans below us. Oh, her voice when she calls for me.. I could just die happily on the spot. Sappho's voice is a song, forever ringing in my heart. When the wind messes up her feathers, she still looks as beautiful as ever.
.. it's a shame she doesn't like me back. I love her, ever so much, but she loves Elliot. Elliot is a nice pigeon and all, but she can turn into a cold-hearted pecker in an instant.
Well, it's time to visit the beach for a swim with Atticus.
So long!
